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Have you ever wondered where the elves, fairies and other mythical creatures went after the fall of King Arthur? What if you found out that some of them lived among us... That you might even be one? That is what Melissa Star had always wondered. Melissa moved to the small town of Ely, Nevada to live with her step-father and on her first day at her new school she meets an enchanting young man named Jason Marks. Jason takes her to a magical planet filled with the creatures of Myth and she discovers that she is a descendant of Arthur Pendragon and she must defend the planet from an evil warlord bent on controlling her and everything around her.
- Published on: 2012-09-09
- Released on: 2012-09-09
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Can't give it less than 1 star, unfortunately :(
By Amazon Customer
LOVED the idea behind this book. Absolutely! Magic abounds in another world:
***SPOILER ALERT***
King Arthur's line, the whole legacy, including Merlin, continues on another planet, where they escape to for safety. However, Pendragon blood/Lady of the Lake is hidden away on Earth, where Melissina lives out a "normal human life" as a teenager. Her mother is brutally murdered and she goes to live with her step-dad, Glen. The reason for Melissa running away? King Alvin - but she requested her memories be wiped because she leaves behind a beau and a son. She discovers the truth about herself, regains most of her memories, and realizes that she has a half-sister. Plot twist - sis tries to kill her because sis is under the evil king's influence. Lot of sibling rivalry there - and there's more to the story, never fear.
I got about 3/4 of the way through the book before I had to put it down - and that was stretching it. The spelling is atrocious, the author needs someone strong in English/grammar...syntax is awful. Then v than comes into play a lot, plus so many of the words/sentences are redundant.
And seriously, we're supposed to believe that a woman who whispers most of her conversations is the heir to the throne? Are you kidding? The author tried to give the character a backbone after writing her as weak and easy. There was entirely too much confusion, skipping around, unanswered questions - and way too many editing/proof-reading needs.
Otherwise, it could have been enjoyable. It needs work, tightening up, fleshing out the characters, using a thesaurus, and finding an editor.
I hope the author reads this and takes heart. It really does sound like a great premise.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Not worth the trouble
By Don Lubin
First impression: the writing is terrible in the sense that author doesn't know grammar, too many excess words, apparently not proofread at all. Characterization seems shallow. Maybe the plot will be worth the discomfort.
Halfway through: No, plot is not worth the trouble. Unbelievable plot and characters. Proofreading seems limited to spellchecker - lots of wrong words spelled correctly.
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
No redeeming qualities at all
By Tiffiny Sarradet
PLEASE NOTE - This is a PARTIAL review due to the fact that 30% was as far as I could force myself to read.
I wanted to like this book. I hate leaving a story unfinished once I begin to read it, so I kept turning pages and hoping it would improve. Instead, it continued to worsen as I read.
Grammar and syntax are just Horrible. We've become accustomed to finding more errors in our reading material since self-publishing became popular, but this is so bad it could be the worst I've ever seen. At least every two sentences you will find glaring errors. In fact, there are sentences with five or more errors each! A few examples:
Run-on sentences. We learn by third grade that each sentence has a punctuation mark at the end. In this story there are fairly regular occurrences of two to four sentences strung together as one. No commas or conjunctions mark where one ends and another begins, so the reader has to read over it several times before he/she can make sense of it.
Missing words and repeated words are pretty common as well, leaving the reader to decipher nonsense.
Compound words. There are dozens of examples of words being split apart (even "what so ever"), which is yet another type of mistake which can change the entire meaning of a sentence. These three types of errors all distract the reader from the story; it's hard to enjoy reading something when you feel like you're decoding it as you go!
There are also many of the more common errors like then/than, its/it's, etc. How can authors expect readers to appreciate their work when they themselves don't appreciate it enough to bother proofreading?
The dialogue is stilted, melodramatic, and at times even nonsensical. It's not at all how people actually communicate.
The characters are uninspired; they could be characters from a dozen other books. The heroine is the type I most dislike. She is arrogant and selfish, clueless and oversensitive, totally submissive to a guy she met literally yesterday, and yet we're to believe she is the only drama queen strong and brave enough to save the world. I've met her many times in many books.
This story is overdone. We have all read quite a few variations of it, and there's nothing particularly new or original about this one. Basically, it goes like this:
Girl is traumatized. Girl meets guy, and they're deeply in love without any doubts about an hour later. Guy reveals secret magical world to girl and informs her it is her destiny to save it from evil. Girl is not sold and insecure about the whole thing. Then girl meets bad guy and is suddenly a completely different person, motivated and tough but sweet.
That's where I quit. We all know what will happen next, so what's the point?
If I were you, I'd look elsewhere for reading material. If you're lucky, you can find something with a little originality that's decently written.
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